“I am worried about you.” “I think you’re being a bit hard on yourself.” “Don’t put down on yourself, that’s what the rest of the world is there for.”
This is just some of the feedback I received from loving and caring friends after my last blog, A Phoney Comes Clean, where I finally started to show my true self. The self that was hiding in plain sight. The self I didn’t know was buried beneath a narrative of subconscious thought that kept telling me I was irrelevant.
Although I had heard the concept before, that we operate from our subconscious mind 80-95% of the time, I had no idea what it meant. Honestly, I never even tried to get my head around it. How could it be that I’m not consciously driving my life? What subconscious thoughts were holding me back? How do I even know my subconscious mind if it’s below my consciousness?
Then I walked into a meeting room with 70 other souls seeking leadership training and learned I was running my life from decisions I made when I was a toddler. After seven days of intense exercises, journaling and group interactions, I began to understand the iceberg of the subconscious that loomed below the surface. Like many, my life’s evidence showed that while growing up, I was conditioned to believe others’ feelings were more important than my own. I saw how I was wired to hand over the wheel and sit in the passenger's seat. I realized how I was living from a narrative that told me to keep the peace, stay under the radar and not get noticed.
And I know that I am not alone. More often than not, our behavior is motivated by beliefs that we are unworthy of love and abundance. We were conditioned to think this way when we were told not to cry, or to hush, because we were making too much noise, or to hide instead of risking embarrassment, judgment or being singled out as a trouble-maker. Many of us were wired, in one way or another, to believe our feelings are irrelevant and that it’s wrong to express our true self. Many of us live in fear of our true desires and acquiesce to the needs of others without realizing that this unconscious fear is impeding our ability to act in our own best interest.
Finally, I am awakening to my true potential. My authentic self, with no fault, no blame, no guilt, no shame, has grabbed the wheel. I get to take 100% responsibility for how I show up. I get to practice this new way of being, grounded in the belief that I am enough, right here, right now.
This is a journey we all get to have, one of awakening beyond our neurological and psychological programming. We are each worthy of clarity, peace, contentment and love. I invite you all to shift these old programs. It is possible for each of us to awaken to our God-given magnificent, brilliant selves. Just like me, You Are Enough.